Friday, September 12, 2008

Originally Posted
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
for “Marriage Bloomer.”

• This green, it’s a fire engine green. And I know that fire engines are red, but… if this was some… alternate plane where fire engines are green, this would be the green they would be.

• On a scale of 1 to 10, I give this… the bottom hump of the 3 and the tail of the 9.

• I don’t think I can properly analyze this piece with my eyes… perhaps if I turn slightly and… grant a view to my ear—Ah, yes.

• If you wanted the world, why didn’t you just ask for the world? Instead you painted this.

• The way you draw the figure, he seems to have a lot on his mind. A library book overdue. I can even see which one. Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. He hasn’t even started it yet. He hasn’t… even started.

• Most of all what I absolutely love is how you painted this lovely white border around here and—what? That’s not painted in? Oh, you fail.

• I know absolutely nothing of biological science… but this is a simply… deciduous painting. Pure emulsification.

• There are so many positive things I can say about this piece… but that would be an insult to the negative space. Now what I hate is…

• The music. Yes, yes! The music of this painting. Everyone, can you hear it? Can you feel it? Now, can you smell it? …well I can.

• The way you paint it’s… you know what I want you to do? I want you to take a weaving class. Yes, Brad, I want you to walk out of here today and sign up for weaving. I think in forty years you could be a master weaver. What? Yes, I’ll be dead by then.

~ Jaime Gumm