Black Friday, November 28, 2008

Originally Posted
Thursday, March 15, 2007
for “LOL-ed Shroomer.”

DICK – an informal and often vulgar term for the central male reproductive organ

“Steven’s dick had spots on it, for he was a Spotted Man.”

In the beginning, human reproduction was a relatively complicated procedure involving whistles and handshakes and often took as long as ten months. The genitalia that males currently had to work with was a small, fork-like appendage used mainly for holding olives which females were or were not allowed to consume depending on whimsy. Thus, the population at this point in history was only about seventy thousand strong.

All of this changed in the year 35,000 B.T. when the first man with genitals resembling those of modern man was born. He was a vile, unpleasant fiend with a gaping suckerhole of a mouth and a shock of frizzy red hair running from his ears to his arse. His name was Richard, but for reasons known only to him he referred to himself – and his member – as “Dick.”

The forerunning males were effortlessly cast aside as Dick swiftly and violently became the progenitor of our species as it exists today. All of us, including myself, are the direct descendents of the first dick or Dick Prime. “Dick” is actually the proper term for the male sex organ, as it was in antiquity. The usage was changed in the fifteenth century when the first biology textbook was published by James Penis.

(Dick Prime is only fully recognized and celebrated in Japanese culture)

~ Jonathan Grover IV