Friday, November 14, 2008

Originally Posted
Monday, March 5, 2007
for “Colic Gloomer.”

BOOBY – a woman’s luscious breast

“Boobies are neat; I like them.”

Until the 1950’s the word “boob” referred only to a foolish or stupid person. Wealthy American families in those times would often invite someone who was silly or mildly retarded to their dinner parties for entertainment because everyone else was dull and bloodless and people could not stand each other’s company for very long. For this reason, professional buffoonery was a viable occupation, despite the lack of a union and the problem of sometimes being paid in straw or magic beans.

A local idiot called Stan O was once invited to a soirée at the home of Senator Ralph Torrence, who was preparing for his presidential campaign. In the course of the evening, Stan defecated on the cat, consumed eleven spoons, and set fire to the senator’s wife’s dress. Mrs. Torrence was so incensed by his behavior that she was unable to speak and so she grabbed a nearby cloth napkin and wrote, “You are an incorrigible boob!” When she handed the note to Stan, who was illiterate, he drew on the word “boob” making it resemble a nude woman presenting her breasts and he handed it back to her. When the senator saw the drawing, he laughed uproariously despite his wife’s tears and announced that Stan would now be on the ticket as his Vice President.

On the campaign trail, Senator Torrence forced his wife to flash her breasts to each audience and he called them “boobies.” Torrence lost millions in this endeavor and eventually went mad, but the word “boobies” can still be found today on tasteless humor websites.

(Photo courtesy of the Museum of Tits in Berlin)

~ Joseph Gallows, Psy.D